I'm Tired.....Again

 

Lately, I’ve just been tired in a way that is hard to explain. It’s not the kind of tired that sleep fixes, and it’s not the kind that goes away after resting for a while. It stays. It shows up in how I think, how I feel, and even in small things that normally wouldn’t bother me.

I think what makes it worse is not just school, but everything I’ve had to pause because of it. I miss reading. I miss sitting with a book and getting lost in it without thinking about time or what I have to do next. I miss writing reviews and sharing my thoughts. That used to be something I really enjoyed, something that felt natural to me. Now it feels like something I’ve pushed far away, something I’ll come back to “later,” even though I’m not sure when that later will be.

Sometimes I think about the goals I set for this year and I start to worry. I wonder if I’ll actually achieve them or if I’ll fall short. But at the same time, I ask myself what I’m supposed to do, because right now school is the priority whether I like it or not. So I keep adjusting. I keep pushing things aside, even the things I care about.

And I’ve noticed how it’s affecting me. I get frustrated more easily now. Small things annoy me faster than they used to. But I don’t always show it. Most of the time, I keep it to myself and act like I’m okay, even when I’m not. It just feels easier to move on than to explain how I really feel.

But if I’m being honest, I’m tired. Tired of constantly pushing myself. Tired of not having time for the things that make me feel like myself. Tired of feeling like I’m always trying to catch up with something.

I know this phase won’t last forever, and I want to believe that things will get better and more balanced again. But right now, it just feels like a lot, and I’m simply trying to get through it.