Posts

What Are We Really Chasing?

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  Today was a lot.... It was one of those days that leaves you with mixed emotions, the one where you don’t fully understand at first, but you just know something in you has shifted. I found myself thinking about gratitude in a quiet and honest way. The kind that comes when you suddenly realize that no matter what you’re going through, there are people facing situations much heavier than yours. I witnessed an accident scene today. Thankfully, no one died, but it was enough to shake me. It reminded me of something I had almost forgotten….how scared I used to be of motorcycles. Growing up, my parents didn’t really allow it. We mostly used buses, and somehow that felt safer. But now, being in a different environment, things are not the same. Buses are not always easy to find, and if you’re in a hurry, waiting is not always an option. So I adjusted. I got used to motorcycles. Very used to them. But today’s scene made me pause. It reminded me that some things we get comfortable with are...

I'm Tired.....Again

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  Lately, I’ve just been tired in a way that is hard to explain. It’s not the kind of tired that sleep fixes, and it’s not the kind that goes away after resting for a while. It stays. It shows up in how I think, how I feel, and even in small things that normally wouldn’t bother me. I think what makes it worse is not just school, but everything I’ve had to pause because of it. I miss reading. I miss sitting with a book and getting lost in it without thinking about time or what I have to do next. I miss writing reviews and sharing my thoughts. That used to be something I really enjoyed, something that felt natural to me. Now it feels like something I’ve pushed far away, something I’ll come back to “later,” even though I’m not sure when that later will be. Sometimes I think about the goals I set for this year and I start to worry. I wonder if I’ll actually achieve them or if I’ll fall short. But at the same time, I ask myself what I’m supposed to do, because right now school is the pr...

Do I Even Want A Wedding Reception?

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Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about decisions, especially the kind you don’t expect to question until life quietly places them in front of you.... One of those for me has been wedding receptions. I attended two weddings on two consecutive weekends, and somewhere in between the music, the food, the coordination, and everything else that comes with it, I found myself asking a question I didn’t expect: do I even want a wedding reception? Weddings are beautiful, no doubt. They’re meant to celebrate love, family, and the beginning of a new chapter. But as I sat through both events, I started paying attention to something else....what people leave with at the end of it all... When the chairs are empty and the music has stopped, what becomes the memory of the day? Is it the couple and the love they share, or is it the little details..... the food, the DJ, the coordination, what went wrong and what didn’t quite meet expectations? Because if we’re being honest, people always leave with ...

The Girl Who Wasn't Sure What Her Heart Was Doing.

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 Let me tell you about a girl I once met. She was in a long distance relationship. The kind where love survives through voice notes, late night calls, and counting down the weeks until the next visit. Her boyfriend lived far away, and the next time she would see him was months from now. Most days she told herself she was fine with it. Life was busy enough to keep her distracted anyway. After all, people make long distance work all the time. Then life got busy. School, people, routines, random conversations in hallways. The kind of everyday life that quietly fills the spaces where someone used to be. And somewhere in the middle of all that, there was this one person she kept running into. Nothing dramatic. Just someone who was easy to talk to. Someone who made ordinary days feel a little lighter. She started noticing how simple it was to laugh with him. How conversations with him didn’t require planning around time zones or waiting hours for replies. It wasn’t supposed to mean anyth...

I Still Want To Draw

Drawing has always been one of those things that gives me peace. Just… quiet. The kind of quiet that settles your mind without you even realizing it. When I draw, I’m not thinking about school, deadlines, or anything stressful. It’s just me, my thoughts, and whatever I’m trying to create. And I like that. I like how simple it feels. But lately, I haven’t had time. Or maybe I have, and I just haven’t had the energy. Because for me, drawing is not something I can force. I can’t just sit down and say, “Okay, let me draw now.” It doesn’t work like that. I draw when I feel it, when the idea comes, when my mind is quiet enough to enjoy it. And that’s what makes it a little frustrating. Because I want to get better at it. Lately, I’ve even been thinking about trying new things. Mosaic. Painting. Just exploring more. But somehow, school always finds a way to take that time. Or maybe I let it. Sometimes I look at some of my classmates and wonder how they do it. How they balance everything so we...

Academic Warfare.

 Lately, the only way I can describe my life is this: academic warfare. Because it doesn’t feel like school anymore. It feels like a battle!!! Every day feels like I’m trying to catch up with something that is always moving faster than me….moving at the speed of light….Lectures, notes, assignments, tests that are somehow always around the corner. It’s like no matter how much I try to stay on top of things, there’s always something waiting. Something pending. Something I haven’t read. And I’m tired. Not just the “I need sleep” kind of tired. It’s deeper than that. The kind of tired that makes even the things you enjoy feel like big tasks. Sometimes I open my book and just stare….then my brain leaves the group chat! Not because I don’t want to read, but because my mind is already exhausted before I even start. I keep telling myself, just push a little more. Just one more chapter, one more topic, one more night of staying up. But it never really ends. There’s always another “one more...

I Let Things Fade Quietly.

 I don’t think I’m the kind of person who confronts everything. When something bothers me, I don’t rush to speak. I sit with it first. I turn it over in my head, trying to understand it from different angles. Sometimes I even convince myself it’s nothing, that maybe I’m just overthinking like I usually do… And sometimes, I let it go. Not because it didn’t matter. But because I decided it didn’t matter enough. But when it comes to people, it’s never that simple. I notice changes. Small ones. The slight distance in conversations.The way replies become shorter. The shift in energy that you can’t really explain, but you can definitely feel. And when I notice it, I don’t just walk away. I try. I try to bring things back to what they were. I become a little more intentional, a little more present. I make the effort to keep the conversation going, to make things feel normal again, to close whatever gap I think is forming. I don’t give up easily. But there’s a point where trying starts to ...