Academic Warfare.

 Lately, the only way I can describe my life is this: academic warfare. Because it doesn’t feel like school anymore. It feels like a battle!!!

Every day feels like I’m trying to catch up with something that is always moving faster than me….moving at the speed of light….Lectures, notes, assignments, tests that are somehow always around the corner. It’s like no matter how much I try to stay on top of things, there’s always something waiting. Something pending. Something I haven’t read.

And I’m tired. Not just the “I need sleep” kind of tired. It’s deeper than that. The kind of tired that makes even the things you enjoy feel like big tasks.

Sometimes I open my book and just stare….then my brain leaves the group chat!

Not because I don’t want to read, but because my mind is already exhausted before I even start.

I keep telling myself, just push a little more. Just one more chapter, one more topic, one more night of staying up. But it never really ends. There’s always another “one more.”

And in the middle of all this, I’ve noticed something. I don’t even have time for the things that make me feel like myself anymore. Writing feels like a luxury. Rest feels like something I have to earn. Even peace feels scheduled.

But I’m still here. Still showing up….Or so I think? Still trying…Still pushing, even when I don’t feel like it. Because what other choice do I have?

Maybe this is just a phase. Maybe one day I’ll look back and laugh at how intense it all felt. But right now, it doesn’t feel funny. It feels like survival.

And if I’m being honest… I’m tired. But I’m still fighting.

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